A change in direction

So, this post is a few things. It is:

A return to innocence, when I spoke without fear for my safety, social or otherwise.

A plea for help – to return things to the way they were, in some respects, while adding nuance and knowledge.

A beacon – to like-minded people, to attract and engage them, while being a ward against people who would be better served reading in a different place.

Let’s talk free speech, and politics.

We’re in a bad place. I think we know this.

Historically, my place has been in the progressive movements, but I find myself in a very strange position. I am happy to listen to other people and consider other points of view, but many people aren’t.

In fact, if we even ask questions, there is a good chance of someone trying to “cancel” us or accuse us of being __ist.

The most radical and aggressive voices in our political parties have dominated in recent years, particularly among the Democrat party.

This needs to change.

We used to be the party of kindness – at least circa maybe a decade or so ago. We begged people to consider the plight of an LGBT person who was kicked out of their home, trying to get married, trying to live their life the same as anyone else, only with the people they were attracted to being of a different sex.

We thought a lot about the poor, at least, so we said, and tried to buff up social programs so they wouldn’t have to be alone.

Nowadays, because of the dominant, aggressive voices, people in this group are actually taking counterproductive actions to the people they say they want to help.

They are trying to cancel people who have questions about their identity.

They are advocating for lowered standards for people in nondominant ethnic groups. This does not help them in the long run.

They are pushing well-meaning policies of “live and let live” and “help” that cause an area to degrade, to become less “safe” for everyone. Literally, less safe – less actually physically safe. But they go on about “safe places,” which really means, to them, “you identify as LGBTQ or a nondominant minority” or, more deeply, “a place where we agree with each other and don’t express contradictory opinions about identity.”

I’ve lived, in recent times, in places where these social experiments have been performed, so I can say with good authority that they have failed.

I was willing to give them try. Heck, I was even someone who liked the idea of a different moniker, gender-neutral, for “Latinx.”

Once I started seeing “Latinx” in action, I realized that, while I had always intended the “x” to be a placeholder until we thought of something that we could actually speak verbally, people had forgotten this and been okay with the awkward result.

Now, I am in a position where I see “Latine” in front of me – the word I had been looking for, all those years ago, with a vowel at the end that made sense, a word that you could actually say…

And I don’t want it.

I want to be a “Latina” now.

I am so bitter and mistrusting of these markers of aggressive, radical “progressiveness” that I find myself steering the other direction.

I was always a little contrary, so it’s possible that, in the beginning, that was why I fit in with progressive movements.

Until people got to know me.. until I began asking too many questions.. until I began questioning the dominant voices in a group.. until I became a “liability.”

I used to be very “live and let live,” very easygoing – almost a pacifist.

That has changed.

I have seen the results when we let the social experiment go on and don’t say anything. It’s, oddly, echoed in the screams they make with phrases like “if you’re not with us, you’re against us,” “silence is violence,” “if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

I used to have a problem with black and white thinking, and that is still a tendency, but now my view is one of the most varigated in a group.

I am older and remember when we had discussions about “essentialism vs. social constructionism” in gender. We’ve had some of these discussions before.

But the others who were around maybe prefer to forget this so they can focus on amplifying their voices to an ear-splitting volume. The young people today are more scared than ever, and for very understandable reasons. But rather than creating a nurturing environment where we bring the results of years of discussion to a true “safe space” where people can ask questions and maybe even challenge those in power…

We’re replacing one radical with another, because it benefits the new radicals to change the clothes but not the position.

I want a new position.

Let’s focus on results, and kindness. Even if I don’t agree with a candidate, I am looking carefully at their behavior. It’s unlikely, at this point, I am going to find a candidate that I agree with 100% anyway, but some of them have been bullying others into repeating their party line for fear of being canceled or shunned.

They are working hard at creating a hive mind that props itself up by the power of its members acting as a bloc. And as a very individualist-minded person, I don’t like this.

I’m still a little contrary. The Democrat party has been going so far left field, it’s sometimes found itself aligned with the far right.

I’m moving toward the middle, towards kindness, common sense, and, yes, a little questioning. I want to take back the terms that have been appropriated, like “woke,” or at least let them rest and put them back where we found them.

So much about the Democrat party these days is hypocritical, and it is making me angry.

But I want to take my own words to heart and act with grace, as well as assertion. I’ll try not to say anything publicly that I wouldn’t want to say to someone’s face.

I hope you’ll join me.