Positivity with wisdom is a bittersweet delight

I was thinking today about my seventeen-year-old self, and how part of me wants to get back to that. Then trying to justify the recent years of sadness with “Well, I’ve learned lessons,” and whatever.
Then I realized – why can’t I just go back to that?
True, I don’t want to lose whatever I’ve learned in those years. But I don’t have to.
I realized today that positivity has power. And you don’t have to lose your wisdom and compassion when you are positive. If anything, positivity mixed with a little bit of sadness has even *more* power.
Take music. For me, some of the most powerful songs are the ones that have some sadness or angst, but end on a hopeful note.
The ones that say “Things may suck now, but there is something positive you can look at,” whether it’s put poetically or more frankly.
I realized that part of what made me so attractive in those late teen years was my confidence, the fact that I felt like I belonged in the niche I was in and just did what I did. It was a little cocky, to be sure. Especially when I was a freshman in high school. My feminism was un-nuanced, and I had a lot to learn.
But there’s no reason I can’t bring back some of that self-assuredness and positivity. Most important, positivity. I always tried to look at the bright side, tried to see the good in people. And while that doesn’t mean I should discount the bad, I know now where my end focus should lie.